I Still Hate “The Da Vinci Code”

November 4, 2008 at 4:39 pm | Posted in Book Blather, Fiction, Rude Poetry | 4 Comments

My preference would be to pretend I never read The Da Vinci Code and wait for enough time to pass that I could block it from my mind.  Ahh, but the upcoming release of the even crappier Angels and Demons will undoubtedly resuscitate interest in this sadly overrated writer and his “historically based” “novels.”  Worse, I just read the Entertainment Weekly list of “New Classics” and found that The Da Vinci Code weighed in at #96, while nothing by Douglas Coupland was anywhere to be seen.


Worse still, people still take this tripe seriously, in spite of the best endeavors of real experts.  This darn book has led to actual murder and suicide.  Whether an author should take any responsibility for the actions of his deranged fans is a pretty fascinating literary discussion we should hold at another time.  I prefer to think that The Da Vinci Code emits a sort of miasma of confusion that poisons the minds of anyone not prepared to debunk it.

I won’t do bullet points here, but I will point you to a website and an article that should be good starting places.  You could also read Truth and Fiction in the Da Vinci Code by Bart D. Ehrman.  I will also say that the reason the book annoys me so much has nothing to do with its challenge to the Roman Catholic Church, as I am ha-ha-ha-hardly a practicing Catholic these days.  The book annoys me because it purports to be based on fact, and it doesn’t take more than the smattering of linguistics, history, and art history that I picked up as an undergrad to see through it.  Unfortunately, it seems most of the book’s readers don’t have that particular background.

It’s poorly written!  It “borrows” liberally from other authors’ work without attribution!  It claims to be based on “facts” that are not factual!  For some reason, there are people who claim it’s the best book ever written!  This book makes me break out in hives!

Whew.  Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.  Just be glad I’m not posting about history and the film Gladiator.

Now I will express myself with a little poem:

Dan Brown, Dan Brown,

Get out of town!

You make me frown.



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  1. You. Are. AWESOME. Thanks for saying this out loud. The only author I hate more than Tom Friedman and Mitch Albom is indeed Dan Brown. I read it and figured out all his stupid little “puzzles” way before his main character, the supposed expert, did, which was sad, because I am not that bright. Some thriller. Humph!

    I once read that tour guides in the Vatican and at the Louvre were getting way sick of idiotic Americans only wanting to ask them questions about this book. That struck me as very funny (funny sad) as well.

  2. Update: Last night Rocket Scientist was channel surfing and happened upon the film version of “Da Vinci Code.” He’d seen it once and enjoyed it enough to start watching it again. I was facing away from the TV, doing something on the computer, but unable to tune out the movie well enough. One of the characters started talking about how Mary Magdalene was referred to as Jesus’s ‘companion’ and how that word actually translated to something else. I fumed, “That’s not true! The word used translates *exactly* as ‘companion’!”

    RS looked up and said, “I think you have attachment issues with this story.”

  3. I got so annoyed with this book that I annotated my edition with a handul of fact I learned in my undergrad religion classes and verified by consulting a handful of original texts I happened to have on my shelves. I then gave it to Goodwill knowing that someone would benefit from at least a little real information among the pseudo-information.

    And, please, please, please post about Gladiator. I’m the only person I know who doesn’t like that movie. I’d like to know I’m not alone. 🙂

  4. LOL! “You make me frown.” *tear* Oh gosh, that’s a great poem. Too bad it doesn’t work for Nicholas Sparks.

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