“I Was Told There’d Be Cake”

August 21, 2008 at 2:59 pm | Posted in Fiction, Humor | 1 Comment

You know you’re getting older when you look at the author photo on a book jacket and you think, “How old is this kid?”  And she finished college.  This is worse than the time I met a cop who was younger than me.  I’m 33, so it’s not like I’m growing white chin hairs yet.  (At least, jeez, I hope not!  Let me go check in the mirror and I’ll be right back).

So yeah, Sloane Crosley is young and gorgeous and successful and funny.  She’s compared to Dorothy Parker, David Sedaris, and Mary Tyler Moore, on that same book jacket.

This book of essays really is funny, and they seem to be arranged roughly in order of ascending humor.  I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone, but the one about being in a wedding party, “You on a Stick,” is genius.  Trish in particular should read “Smell This” and try not to herniate something laughing too hard.

I do have a complaint, though.  What is it with comedy writers and veganism?  (Which the WordPress spell checker doesn’t think is a real word, by the way).  This came up in Bitter is the New Black, too.  It’s like a trope now.  You do a joke about blind dates, you do a joke about your family.  You do a joke about your crazy neighbor, you do a joke about… vegans!  What could be funnier?  Yuck, yuck, yuck.  I swear, it’s probably less of a social stigma to tell people you’re, what do you call those freaks… a Scientologist.  (Also not a word in the spell checker).  Crosley claims that eating bacon is the secret desire of every vegetarian.  Um.  No.  She also admits to being a ‘pescetarian’ (also not a word) which is someone who claims to be a vegetarian yet eats fish.  For some reason this is more mystifying to veggies than it is to omnivores.  Fish are not plants.  If they were, could you imagine going to a botanical garden in the summer when the fish hedges were past their prime?  The battles you’d have with your lazy neighbors over their lax yard work?

But anyway.  Sloane Crosley is poised to become a widely recognized name in humor writing.  Read the book and explain to me why the front cover is a close-up of a mattress pad.

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  1. Explanation of book cover mattress image. Re-read “One Night Bounce” essay.


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